The fat personal trainer was a walking contradiction. He lived a happy life of plenty in a world of endless self-improvement, and his simple lack of wanting for much more in life was something that many ambitious people around the world would kill for. His work days consisted in instructing people on what and how to do it down at the gym, urging them to move whilst he leaned against one of the machines or sat on his ass reminiscing about a previous or salivating about the next meal.

One did wonder at times how such a successful career in this cut-throat industry could have been made in a world of perfect images and Instagram posts. But this heart-attack-inducing lifestyle was, somewhat surprisingly, a most effective combo with his clients down at the gym, inspiring them to move in order to avoid falling into the sweet self-indulgence that their PT would never come back from. His career choice came about as a joke initially, after one of his Onlyfans suggested a hefty reimbursed session. And so, this sarcastic play on society’s expectations by a bored troll ended up becoming an oxymoronic standard that no one bothered questioning anymore, much like the appointment of dubious politicians to draft anti-corruption legislation. 

In the end, the humongously happy PT ended up becoming a cult icon and making news around the world’s feed for a week or two. This ‘YOLO legend’ – as he would be dubbed by his online fans later – ended up dying in front of thousands of people in his signature Snorlax T-shirt, and he couldn’t have chosen a better way to go. As online donations on his livestream kept on flowing and urging him to crack a third extra-large tub of Phish Food ice cream, the big icon ended up suffering a heart attack on his steel-reinforced gaming chair. Many online conspiracy theories surfaced, with a breaking-down-what-happened video explaining how the accident was induced by one of the chocolate Phishes getting caught in this legend’s throat. How many of us can say to have truly lived?